Original ficlet written by Koyuki Haruno. She kindly gave me a permission to translate it into English (^_^) The original Japanese version is here.

Translated by ASIA, refined/polished by a secret elf, who wishes to remain anonymous. Thank you! (^____^)



No Tears by Koyuki Haruno

Oh my; I've never seen him look quite like that before.

Duo thought, seeing Heero's shocked expression, eyes widening alarmingly.

While it had been a while since they'd moved in together, Duo knew that his roommate had never seen him cry before.

But all around them were the sights and sounds of Christmas; the entire city seeming decked out in its finest, brightly colored decorations, and shining lights everywhere.  The people smiling and calling greetings as they passed in the street.  And not far from where they stood, Heero staring at him, dumbfounded, there were carolers.  Their voices raised in joyous celebration of the season.

The song rang somewhere deep in Duo's memory, echoing a voice so loved, and yet almost forgotten.  He stood, transfixed, as the voice welled up inside him, coming clearer until Sister Helen's voice joined the carolers. 

She used to sing that same old hymn while washing the clothes and doing chores; Duo could feel his lips trying to catch and form the words with her.  The sound waking the faint memories and swelling his heart with warmth.

He could feel the wetness on his cheeks and was suddenly shocked at himself for bursting into tears in the middle of the street. He was sure that Heero must just be appalled.

He began scrubbing at his face in a panic, but he just couldn't seem to get stopped, and Heero staring at him with his mouth practically hanging open wasn't helping.  Duo could feel the heat start to rise to his face, when Heero's eyes suddenly narrowed.

Then Duo quite suddenly found himself wrapped up in strong arms, his forehead pressed against the cold fabric of Heero's coat. 

"Hey! What are you..." he began, struggling for a moment before Heero told him,"if you don't want to embarrass yourself in public' stop squirming."

There was a moment when he wasn't sure being embraced by Heero in the middle of the sidewalk in front of the whole world, wasn't just as embarrassing as crying like a little kid, but he stopped trying to pull away.  With his face hidden against Heero's chest, he couldn't see if people were staring anyway.

"You're just going to get your coat all wet," Duo said, giving token objection.

"Don't worry about it."

"My nose is running,"

"Don't you dare!" Heero warned, and the grumpy voice coupled with the warm, comforting embrace made Duo chuckle softly.

"What?" Heero wanted to know, voice sounding like he was almost afraid to ask.

"Nothing,'"Duo said, smiling against the slowly warming surface of the coat under his cheek. 'I love the Christmas season, Heero.'

It was the time of year when everyone had a smile to share, just like the people in Duo's memories.  It was the season that made one believe in the new peace.  Believe in the beauty of mankind. 

Besides; being held in Heero's arms was the sweetest feeling Duo could ever want.

"Geez, what is the matter with you..." Heero muttered, and something more about tears and worry, and it made Duo squeeze him tight, wishing he could half explain the feelings inside himself.

"I just don't know what to do with myself.  I'm just...so very happy right now."

He remembered helping Sister Helen, all those years ago, washing the clothes and hearing her sing those Christmas Carols with her beautiful voice.  He had never felt so safe and warm, never more happy.  Until now.  Maybe those tears he couldn't seem to stop were his way of letting Sister Helen and Father Maxwell know. 

"Then don't cry." Heero said.

"Guess you should consider yourself lucky to see something so' unusual,."Duo teased.

"You about gave me a heart attack." Heero told him, but Duo could hear the softness in his tone.

"Don't worry," he sighed happily. 'I will never show you my tears again."

Tears were for the past, and the people he once loved.  But no tears for the future and the person he loved now.  He only wanted to show Heero his smile, only share his happiness. It was Duo's promise to himself. So he kept his face buried against Heero's gray coat and he let the tears fall, quietly humming along with the Christmas carol.

Joy to the world!  Christmas was so wonderful; no one paid a bit of attention to two people holding each other on the side of the street.

Duo smiled, leaning further into Heero's tight embrace, and slowly closed his eyes.